This summer Clare O’Donohue and I held a two-person panel about Writing Sex Scenes at the Mystery Writers of America tent. It was essentially a conversation in which we shared opinions and read the nasty bits from a few famous novels, as well as our own. I don’t think it was recorded, and I can’t speak for Clare, but here’s my contribution to the discussion.

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I decided to do the grunt work on this, so to speak, and research a few well-known novels with sex scenes in them. I picked Women In Love by DH Lawrence, Tropic Of Capricorn by Henry Miller, Delta Of Venus by Anais Nin, Clea, one of the books in Lawrence Durrell’s Alexandria Quartet, and, of course, Fifty Shades Of Grey by EL James. I also took a look at Paper Lanterns, a short story collection by Stuart Dybek. I thought this was appropriate because Stuart is on almost every book panel in Chicago this summer.

The first thing I noticed from my reading is that sex scenes can be categorized with these three classifications: Sensual, Functional, and Combination.

Sensual sex scenes are those that try to manipulate the readers’ state of mind by using imagery that appeals to the senses and symbols that are sexually implicit. In most of these the mood is established and then—boom—it’s suddenly the next morning.

Functional sex scenes are just that. They describe the action—insert Tab A into Slot B.

Combination sex scenes try to establish mood and then describe the action.

Another way to classify sex scenes is by those that name body parts, either clinically or with slang, and those that use euphemisms—e.g. she grasped his throbbing member.

My own writing tends toward the Sensual model. There are two reasons for this. First, readers tend to attach their own habits and prejudices to the characters they’re reading about. We might be doing the same basic things in bed, but we do them slightly differently. Second, I infuse a lot of my own personality into my characters. I’m not sure I want my readers to know what I’m like in bed, unless, of course, I was writing a comedy.

Fifty Shades is a book that fits both the Functional and Euphemistic categories. It’s the kind of book that men in the 1940s and 50s would have sent three dollars to a company in Van Nuys, California for a copy to be delivered in a plain brown wrapper, but it’s been such a huge success that I’m obviously mistaken about what constitutes an interesting sex scene. Here’s a sample from the novel I’m currently working on. It’s pretty typical of the way I write.

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            They cut through the park to the bike path so they could see the lake while they walked. The sun was down, but the moon was up, and McKinney watched the ripple of its reflection on the water. The reflection appeared to follow them as they walked. Nina put on her sweater and took McKinney’s hand in hers. McKinney noted that there was strength behind the softness of her hand. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and she squeezed back, and then a sort of sexual energy passed between them. McKinney had known on that first night he kissed her that, sooner or later, they would wind up in bed together. Some part of him knew her now, or rather, anticipated her—the feel of the soft hairs at the base of her spine, the taste of salt just above her collarbone, the warmth of her exhalation on his ear. He sensed these things about her. He needed to know them.

They walked without speaking for a bit. A cool breeze blew in off the lake, and a light shower fell on them from a sky that had been clear moments before. Nina pulled herself into the crook of his arm, and they hurried back, ducking into a short tunnel. The air in the tunnel was dense and mildewy. The moon had passed behind a cloud, but they could see the glow of the streetlights at the other end of the tunnel. They kissed for a while, and her fragrance, all the smells that defined her, filled his senses. She took one of his hands from her waist and put it on her breast. He felt her nipple, firm under his palm and, with his other hand, pulled her tight against him. The sound of footsteps along the walk robbed them of the moment. Almost in a whisper, Nina said, “I know this takes away some of the spontaneity, but would you…I mean, if you’d like to…can you spend the night?”

McKinney raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “You’re sure?”

She nodded. “Let’s walk back to the El.”

“The hell with the El,” he said, leading her out of the tunnel, “Let’s take a cab.”

Writing Another GenderTuesday, June 30th, I’ll be at City Lit Books in Logan Square. At 6:30pm Patricia Skalka and I discuss Hero or Heroine? Why both work in mystery fiction. This is also a good opportunity (insert shameless self-promotion here) to pick up a copy of Kiddieland and other misfortunes!

An Eruption Of Events! (sorry about the word eruption)Saturday, June 6th, I’ll be at Printers Row in Chicago
At 11:00am Clare O’Donohue and I discuss Writing Sex Scenes at the Mystery Writers of America tent. I’ll also be signing books after the discussion and will be at the Allium Press tent at 2:00pm.

Tuesday, June 30th, I’ll be at City Lit Books in Logan Square
At 6:30pm Patricia Skalka and I discuss Hero or Heroine? Why both work in mystery fiction. This is also a good opportunity (insert shameless self-promotion here) to pick up a copy of Kiddieland and other misfortunes!

One of my poems won the faculty division in the Malcolm X College Annual Poetry Contest for the second year in a row. Don’t get too excited; last year I was the only contestant. This year there were six other entries, so my photocopied certificate should say something more than “Participant.” Read it and weep, suckas!

I don’t have time to climb this tree
I’ve somewhere else I need to be
and what if I should fall?
I’m not a youngster after all
What if I were paralyzed
or a thorny branch poked out my eyes
or a neighbor lady walking by
saw me sitting way up high?
She’d have to pretend she didn’t know me
How embarrassing that would be
Maybe I’ll climb a little way
and save the rest for another day
Hey!
Now I remember what trees are for
so maybe I’ll climb a little more
From way up here I can see the rush
as people join the commuter crush
They hurry to work
but they’re longing to play
I think I’ll stay up here all day

WYCC has posted the interview with yours truly that aired during their recent Mystery Marathon. Greg King asks me all the right questions. WARNING- do not watch while operating heavy machinery! It’s up in three parts. Here’s part two- https://youtu.be/l0LPfxWU5ZY

It really is a beautiful planet.
Stewards of the Earth?

http://earthobservatory.nasa.gov/Features/GlobalWarming/

Tune in to broadcast channel 20 on Sunday, April 5th at 6:30 pm Central time for WYCC’s Mystery Marathon. They’re showing the final episode of Poirot, and interviewing yours truly during the breaks!
Poirot and Me

Here’s another little gem that hasn’t been seen in over twenty years. I entered it in a couple of festivals, but it was never accepted—certainly not the fault of the wonderful actors and crew who donated their time. George’s Ghost. Check it out. https://youtu.be/l2E00mqUzHo

Local authors Tim Chapman, Libby Fischer Hellmann, Diane Piron-Gelman, and J. Michael Major will read and discuss the short story form. They will also be available to sign their latest books.
Sunday, March 8th at 3:00 pm
Centuries and Sleuths Bookstore
7419 Madison Street, Forest Park, IL 60130
(708) 771-7243
www.centuriesandsleuths.com

The always amazing Libby Hellmann interviews me, Amy Alessio and Patricia Skalka.
http://bit.ly/18f4WJ8